Take a Bow Asshole You Killed Me Today

http://www.bonanza.com/booths/Innerflowconnections

At least this guy was Outside doing it!

Out of Courtesy for Mankind
There are just some things that You don't do!

I had an early morning appointment with a potential buyer.
The appointment was to sell my pendulums in her retail shop
but She was in another appointment located on the 3rd floor

I was asked to meet her in the conference room

Okay, Interesting and New I'm Up for where ever this may lead.

I'm dressed Nicely, black shirt black slacks Great pair of heels & a suede jacket.
My short black hair is spiked out
Makeup looks good, I have my case of pendulums all safe and sound.
And I'm slightly scented with my favorite perfume (Georgio)

Early morning in the business end of Phoenix means rush traffic & crowded elevators.
I Do Not like Crowds!
I Look in the elevator, it's packed
I look behind me, there's a line waiting to get in

There is room for one more
Oh Hell may as well

So I get in the elevator
I mean it is only to the third floor

There's minor chat going on as we take the slowest ride in the world
1st & 2nd stop, people get off More get on

I am towards the back corner and move my way towards the front
When I notice this smell
and I hear a chuckle
TO MY HORROR
The doors Close!

Are You freaking kidding me!
One more flight to go and someone decided to drink Milk this morning!

In my mouth
I get a sense of an Onion Omelet and refried beans!
My eyes!

I swear to God my eyes were burnt!
(pic is not of my eyes, but added for effect)

WHAT THE HELL!
Take a Bow Asshole You Killed me!

By time those doors Opened I thought I was going to Die!

Long story short,
I regained my composure, Checked out my now running eyeliner

The appointment went great
And for now on
I'm taking off my heels and taking the stairs
By My Self!

P.S.
Remind me to buy some bandages for the raw skin under my nose
I hope that person can't sit down for a week after what he/she did to me!

K.B!

Another Fart Tale

Do You Know
I ALMOST DIED Because of a FAILED FART!
Yes IT"S TRUE, Documented and I Now have a very LONG Scar down the center of my body
Because Not only was that Fart Lost In Me, My Intestines Had Twisted inside of me, which is WHY The Fart Almost Killed me
SO For Years I have fought the PTSD Of The Fear of Farting

For Your Humor Entertainment~~
Yet another Fart Story
Farting tends to be a funny topic to me, it has to be.
I (In Public) Do not even Own such an Outlet (In Private I can Take on some of the Best Farters around!)
Or Smell For that matter, (Unless I preplan for a Game of Tennis or Plan on going shopping with my Husband.)

But Apparently some people just Don't care Where they Let Go at..

Once Upon A Time
I went to school with kirsten & becca for highschool registration, had a crying laughing attack while in line,,, Somebody FARTED and no one claimed it,, So becca & I looked at each other, This Fart Event Lead me onto a Memory of my Poor Husband and My LOUD Mouth on one of our Treasure Hunts.

Of Course Jr (PRONOUNCED J R Not Junior Thank You)  & I  were the book aisle, and Someone farted,
 LOUD!
 I thought it was him so I asked "Do you need Toilet paper?"
 He looked at me with horror on his face and said, "That wasn't me".
So I literally DIED LAUGHING In Line today~
Thinking about Poor JR! and you know, The Pain of the owner of the fart, 

~KB